Being a human being is the most challenging journey any conscious being could ever undertake. And yes, I do mean the most challenging. Were it possible to travel to all the galaxies of this universe and study all the intelligent life forms it contains, we would not find a single conscious being who faces a journey of existence more challenging than our own. 

How can I make this bold declaration with such certainty? Because of the nature of the human predicament, which comes prewired with mine fields and booby traps of exquisite power and breadth. First, humans possess an extremely unique form of consciousness, which enables us to put our focus anywhere we want and feel as if we are there. Second, we possess unfathomably clever and tricky egos, which delight in luring us into every variety of muck imaginable.

Now add to this setup the fact that our highly-developed minds generate a continuous and relentless stream of thoughts. These thoughts are informed by sensory organs which are quite limited—many animals have superior sensory organs and some even have senses we lack, such as echolocation. Nonetheless, our crafty egos constantly persuade us that our subjective and imperfect interpretations are right… and our family members, friends, coworkers and neighbors are wrong.

The combination of all these elements makes for an extremely gnarly and bumpy ride we call “life.” Again and again and again, we are led to believe our version of reality is right and the other’s is wrong. Again and again and again, we get hurt and disappointed when someone else doesn’t see things the way we do. Again and again and again, we are seduced to believe that the problem is out there, not inside ourselves.

It’s all perfectly understandable. And it’s all entirely innocent. We think our lives take place in the outer world because that’s what it feels like, but in actuality we are living in our heads 24/7. In actuality, we are 100% alone with our continuous and relentless thoughts from birth to death.

Let’s pause for a moment and really take in how challenging our setup is. We have crummy sensory organs, self-confirming egos, relentless thoughts, and awareness of our awareness, plus we remain stuck inside our heads for the duration of our lives. Does that not seem like the perfect mix of ingredients to induce a permanent state of neurosis? 

In spite of this crazy-making configuration, however, we are expected to accept our assignment. Somehow we are supposed to figure out how to maintain healthy relationships, find fulfilling work, raise adjusted children, and contribute to society—all along remaining authentic and true to ourselves.

It can be quite shocking to absorb the enormity of our challenge. Yet this isn’t even the most shocking thing about the human predicament. Far from it. The most shocking thing is that the setup is not actually a curse, but rather a blessing. It’s the greatest gift we ever receive on earth. We should be leaping up and down with joy and dancing in the streets now that we know how stunningly hard our life here on earth is destined to be.

Huh? Why in the world would I say that? It’s because the human predicament is not only the most challenging setup in the universe, but also the most intelligent design ever packed into a life form. And by some miraculous chain of incomprehensible events, we won the lottery and have it baked into us.

What makes the design so intelligent is that it absolutely guarantees we’re going to be hit with tons and tons of drama. As sure as the sun is going to rise, our egos are going to get bruised, our wants and needs are going to be unmet, our hopes and dreams are going to be dashed. And other humans beings are going to let us down terribly.

I know what you’re thinking. I must be out of my mind. I must be a stark raving lunatic. How could I possibly be describing these things as if they’re good, as if they are cause for celebration?

The answer is very simple. It’s all due to a crucial fact we constantly overlook. The purpose of the human journey is not to have fun or feel good. It’s not to get rich. It’s not even to find peace and happiness. No, the purpose of the human journey is for our beings to evolve. 

And that’s precisely what this setup guarantees—as efficiently and effectively as is structurally possible. It’s as if we have evolution superchargers strapped to our backs. Every turn we take, every move we make in this funny game called life, yet another opportunity to evolve presents itself.

While we can always choose to bypass the opportunity, none of us can bypass the setup. It’s absolutely hardwired into us. And when we do bypass the opportunity, it only leads to more drama—much, much more drama. I suspect you know what I mean, and if you don’t, no worries. You will soon enough. The setup assures it.

But there is one thing we can do, whenever we feel ready, to make our journey considerably easier. We can surrender. We can let go of our resistance. We can drop our narrative. We can take our thoughts less seriously. We can question our conclusions. We can breathe before reacting. We can be instead of do. 

Wait a second. Didn’t I just say there is one thing we can do? And isn’t that seven things I just listed?

Actually, there’s a wonderful explanation for the discrepancy. It’s super mysterious and profound. Because each and every one of these seven things is exactly the same. Each and every one of them is the act of self-love.

That’s why the setup of the human predicament is such a genius design. It’s really the most incredible video game ever to be created. We never stop being tested and challenged. There are an infinite number of levels. There’s no limit to how much we can grow. And we are always at the exact level we need to be for the exact circumstance we face.

Best of all, now you know the secret hack that makes playing this video game so much more fun and rewarding. Because no matter how our current test is being presented to us, the correct response—the response that will take us to the next level in our conscious evolution—is always the same: self-love.

The key, of course, is to understand what exactly self-love is. In my experience, the term is often quite misunderstood. It’s hardly ever what we are conditioned to believe. People sometimes even think that practicing self-love might make them a flawed or bad person. They think loving oneself might be selfish or narcissistic or indulgent or overly individualistic.

But self-love is most definitely none of those things. Self-love is simply acknowledging that you are living inside yourself, not outside yourself. And since you are living inside yourself, not outside yourself, it only stands to reason that job number one needs to be tending to your interior space. 

This doesn’t mean you are holding yourself out as any more important than others. Or turning a blind eye to the world’s problems. It just means you are prioritizing the focus of your consciousness onto the one place where you have some agency to make a really huge difference.

After all, your interior space is the only space over which you have absolute control. No one else has any say over what goes on in there. Only you do.

But if your interior space is a mess, it makes no difference how beautifully decorated your home is—or your office, or your neighborhood or your city or your planet. If your interior space is a mess, then your experience of life will be a mess. There’s really no getting around this basic truth.

So in the simplest terms, the practice of self-love is all about becoming a good interior designer. We live in there, so why wouldn’t we want to make our insides the most beautiful, loving, positive environment we can?

And how could doing so possibly be characterized as being selfish or narcissistic or indulgent? After all, the only way anyone could possibly show up in a manner that would be useful to anyone else is if they have first tended to themselves, if they have first made themselves feel safe, loved, appreciated and whole. If self-love is not at the root of an action, then how could it contain any real love for others? You can’t spread love if it’s not inside you from the beginning.

This realization gives us a very handy lens through which to measure our actions to see if we are indeed practicing self-love. Anything we do for ourselves that helps us feel feel safe, loved, appreciated and whole is an act of self-love. That means anything that reminds us of our predicament and gets us to drop the illusion that we are living in the outer world is an act of self-love. 

Dropping the illusion takes us back home. Going back home reminds us to tend to ourselves. And that’s why those seven things I listed are all acts of self-love. Because that is exactly what they do. They reel us back into the reality of our predicament and allow us to make the next big step in our growth, in our conscious evolution.

There isn’t any other path that will liberate us from being at the mercy of the drama of the outer world. Self-love is the only path to true sovereignty. Once you get a glimpse of this fundamental fact, it’s almost funny how obvious is—and how easy it is to overlook.

The only way to be the exclusive controller of your own life is to truly understand that your experience of life is dictated 100% by the thoughts and feelings generated inside yourself. And the only way for those thoughts and feelings to be alchemized into nice and cozy ones is to practice self-love.

But don’t take my word for it. Try it out for yourself. Pick any one of those seven things and really lean into it. Or choose a combination that appeals to you. And then keep practicing your preferred approach no matter what comes up. Especially when you don’t feel like it.

I promise you that being an interior designer for yourself will soon become your absolute favorite job. And the funny thing is that it’s actually the highest paying job too. Which is especially hilarious when you consider that it has more vacancies and less applicants than any other job opportunity in the marketplace. By far!